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Np - Arctic Monkeys - Scummy
You know in the movies when sometimes takes too much sh*t from someone for too long? Where they tolerate stuff from people time and time again, and dont say anything? And then one day they explode, and tell that person exactly how they feel, down to the smallest detail? And afterwards they feel great?
Yeah. That doesn't work for me. I just end up feeling a little guilty. I'm not sure why - if something isn't my fault - clearly I have the right to say exactly what I want, to tell that person what I feel exactly how it is. But everytime I do that I feel that somehow its my fault afterwards. Like for example last night my housemates disconnected my internet last night, because they wanted to download something. In the morning when I woke up, I snapped. I suppose it must've been a funny site, me with all that stuff in my eyes, pillow marks on my face and in my PJs telling em off, but I was a bit rude. And afterwards it was like =\. They apologised and I told em not to worry about it, cause I was feeling like I was unfair - even though I wasn't.
Not to say this always happens of course. Sometimes I can tell people off and feel absolutely nothing, nothing at all. I've done it before, and the fact that I dont feel anything is what bothers me when that happens. But those other times, when you feel like you shouldn't have done what you did - why? And what're you supposed to do when you want WANT to blow up at someone, and know you SHOULD otherwise things'll just get worse, ad you KNOW you're perfectly within your rights to do so? Because to be perfectly frank, theres somebody I've wanted to explode at for a while now, but haven't had the chance - and didn't know whether I should.
Opinions please =p
Posted by illogicist at 3:48 PM
3 Comments
You sound just like me! My mother-in-law came to stay earlier this month (she's only just left!) and I had many a moment when I got really annoyed by something but just couldn't work up the nerve to say anything. I would always regret it later, but at the time, I simply found it impossible. Why? Because I'm too polite and too considerate of the feelings of others. I have a feeling you too suffer from the same. I know many people (including some of my own family members) who would not hesitate to give back as good as they got. I could take a page or two out of their books because even if they upset the other person in the short term, they earn their respect in the long term. My sister is one of those people. Some see her as 'too strong' (awiyyeh) but still would never dare tread on her toes.
The point is you need to stop being so damn nice and reclaim what is rightfully yours. When you do, let me know, and I will try to follow suit. Until then, I'm still gonna be nice as pie to dear old mother-in-law...
I know what you mean about feeling guilty afterwards, I've felt it too. But for the most part I'm usually relieved I blew up because it helps me to get over the situation and it improves my relationship with the person. However when you do blow up take care not to go out of context or out of line. I think its better to think of what you want to say first and then tell them off.
Whoever that person is you want to blow up at, I say go for it. But don't go TOO far when you do.
I'd say explode but do it within the limits. You can always say something you have been urging to say in an 'indirect' way which is more polite and you could still get the point across.
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