Dating in the Arab World
NP - Natacha Atlas - Ya Weledi
I was reading a thread on www.englishsabla.com about relationships, and it got me thinking (very cynically, as I can be) about dating in the Arab World. To those who dont know, dating in the ME is a relatively new phenomenon. Its a break from our traditional culture and that. But we havent quite got the specifics down. Theres a number of ways it can work, heres a few:
1) Boy sees girl in mall
2) Boy throws phone number at girl
3) Girl calls boy, they talk
4) Girl gets attached, they decide to meet up
5) Boy finds girl revolting, girl finds boy irresistable
6) Boy finds new girl, girl is heartbroken
Alternatively, this one is more likely in mixed private schools, where kids scorn at the whole 'throw your number' idea:
1) Boy finds girl in same class 'hot'
2) Boy boasts to all his friends about how much of a pimp he is and how he can get that girl
3) Boy shows girl attention, girl instantly falls in love
4) Boy and girl start to talk on the phone
5) Boy starts paying girls phone bills, even though he starts to dread phone calls because girl does nothing but complain about how crap her life is, how her driver is always on holiday, etc.
6) Boy and girl meet up, in groups with friends
7) Boy starts dating girl's best friend, girl starts dating boy's best friend, none of them know
8) Someone finds out, break-up. Strangely, both parties are innocent
All this takes place in about 2 weeks. Not once in any of these scenarios does a 'date' actually occur.
There was a forward I got, one of the few I actually found funny, its about dating, I'd like to post it here. Some may find it offensive, but its nothing you havent seen before. I like the last one especially :p Here it is:
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out a bit.
Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a Mistress.
First Date: You get terrific head.
Second Date: You get even more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you've already realized nothing is ever going to happen.
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, his
girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father’s girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's Boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on
rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Tijuana strip.
First Date: Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire Arab community finds out.
Second Date: You are shot dead.
No third date.
Posted by illogicist at 1:30 PM