Its that time of the year again.
NP - Agalloch - A Desolation Song
So. Its the end of the year. As usual, its come and gone so quickly we're all left wondering just what happened. It gets harder and harder to draw the boundaries between where last year ended and this year began, as more and more of the present becomes lost in the jumbled memories of our past. But for me, its been a decent year overall. Not the best, but not the worst by far. But its been difficult - no surprise there, every year is always more difficult than the last. But I've been well prepared this time round, so it was alright. Summer threatened to be really bad - all sorts of problems, financial, family and social. But things worked out. Eventually, you just get used to it.
Funnily, the last 6-8 weeks were the most difficult in terms of workload. Its not an exaggeration to say that I got about 4.5 hours of sleep a night, on average. Even weekends, I barely pushed 6. But it was also the must fun time of the year - especially the last 2 or 3 weeks. Ive also learned that sleep really can be postponed - and here I am sleeping it off. I slept early last night and was only woken up by a text message, 11 hours later, because I had a social meet an hour later. If it weren't for that message, I'd have slept through it. So yeah, I'm making up for it.
In my last new years message, I said something like '2005 was the year I lost my mind, 2006 will be the year I lose my soul'. I didn't lose my soul this year (although I came very close quite often), and I no longer believe I'm in danger of losing it. I think I've reached a comfortable niche where my soul is resting, at least temporarily. I think thats due to knowing myself better, and knowing everyone around me better. My perspective on a lot of things has changed and matured, for the better or for the worse, I cant do anything about it. Thats life. I'm less cautious now, less reserved, and less afraid of making mistakes. Thats not a bad thing.
Happy new year. 'Happy' new year. We all know it wont be 'happy'. There'll be happy bits, there'll be bad bits. There'll be ups and downs. We just have to hope that, compared to last year, there'll be more ups and less downs. I'm too skeptical about such pointless celebrations to wish people a happy new year. Sure, as its a change in the calendar, its a great time for reflection, but if you think about it, so is the end of every month, or week, or day. We dont do it, but maybe we should. I know some people do. So yeah, resolutions are always a great idea. Most of us dont stick to them, and that leads a lot of us to stop making them altogether. Thats a dumb excuse though - even if u dont stick to them, firstly at least you tried, and secondly at least it got you thinking. I still havent made mine, but I have a good idea what theyre about. They wont be detailed, they'll be broad. Its enough. So to conclude, I cant really wish you all a happy new year, but I raise my glass (of non-alcoholic beverage!) to a year less bitter than the last.